Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
