Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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