I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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