I love black thongs
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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