Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
