your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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