Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
