I need help removing her.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
