Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
