Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Im part way to drunk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
