Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
