Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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