Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
