He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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