Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
