Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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