Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i will never coherently bang her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
