I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
