fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
