i just google imaged poop.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
