Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
