i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
