guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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