Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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