Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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