8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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