defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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