if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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