How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
