He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
