Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
