some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
