Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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