What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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