i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
