This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
