sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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