i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
