My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
