I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
