dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
