Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
