??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
