you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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