She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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