i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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