just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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