Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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