My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
