bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
