Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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