Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
NoShamevember. You game?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
