I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
