Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
